2006: Things Exitfare Doesn't Get

Joanna Newsom
When there is a tidal wave of hype surrounding an artist, it's easy to get sucked in, but seriously people, step the fuck back and clean out your ears. When I listen to Joanna Newsom, I have no fucking idea what is going on. I do have to give it to her, music wise, because the songs aren't half bad, but when she opens her mouth, it's all over. Her voice is piercing, annoying and completely out of place, and I highly doubt that most people really like her, I think people claim to like her simply as a badge of honor so they can tell all of their hipster friends that they "get" this "difficult" music. Well guys, I am calling your bluff, she couldn't sing her way out of a paper bag. Actually, I hope she doesn't try and stays in that paper bag.


The Clipse
[Photo Credit: Edgar Sanchez]
The Clipse have been around for awhile, and really, they have dropped some pretty great stuff that I still listen to from time to time, but starting about a year ago, I started to hear about how "dope" their new album was going to be and I started to buy into the hype because the right people were talking about it. I even ran into a kid at CMJ who was practically in tears because he couldn't get into their showcase, so you know there is something going on when a too-cool backpacker is about to start bawling. I finally got a copy of Hell Hath No Fury a couple of weeks [thanks for the copy Justin], finally getting to listen to it as I was driving around LA last Friday and I couldn't have been more disappointed. There is nothing redeeming about this disc, it's downright terrible. All of the songs sound the same, and the single is more or less a rip off of "Drop It Like It's Hot." After several songs, all I could think about was unloading it at CD Spins.


Sufjan Stevens
I will never get this guy, even after giving him a few chances. First of all, those wings are fucking retarded. Dude, are you serious? How the hell can anyone take you seriously with those fucking wings, and that is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this guy's gimmicky shit. I do have to admit that the albums about the states is a good idea, but what happens when he is down to like Rhode Island or something? I guess he could do a 7" featuring them and New Hampshire, but unfortunately the albums about the states moves the conversation from the music to the gimmick. Pretentious indie kids need something to rally around, and Sufjan's thinly veiled Christian folk does the trick. He's nothing more than Scott Stapp for kids who still buy vinyl.